Weigh Loss Journey – Jan and Feb 2023

Me: I have a lot of free time to exercise and eat right now that I am not traveling for work.  I am going to lose a bunch of weight.

Body: Hm. I will think about it.

Me: We are off to a great start.

Also me: Oh no! A hamburger commercial at 3 am. I am so hungry. I hate eating healthy.

Next day: OK, no more thinking about hamburgers.  Back on track.  Eat healthy, exercise.

Me: I am doing so great!  I have lost a few pounds.  Let’s keep going.

Me: Making some progress.  Exercise is feeling a little easier.

Later: Another 3 am hamburger commercial – this one has regular cheese and queso on it!  Aaahhh!

Me: Eats healthy for a week and exercises regularly.  Woohoo! 

Body trying to sabotage me: Let’s watch television instead of going to the gym.  There are so many good episodes of The Great British Baking Show.  We still don’t understand exactly what a pudding is.  We should really sit here and focus on answering that mystery.

Me: Hm. What is a pudding? I should look into that. Good to be informed in case I ever go to London. Watches 5 hours of baking shows (has never successfully baked anything but likes watching – everything is better with a British accent).

Me: Push through.  I am doing great!  I have lost 5 pounds, only about 50 or 60 more to go. 

Body, sabotage in full force: You know they have brought back the Mexican Pizza at Taco Bell.  You really should eat that.  What if they get rid of it again and you didn’t eat a bunch of them?  That happened when Arby’s didn’t bring back the deep fried turkey sandwich, and now you will never eat it again.  You have still never gotten over that sandwich.  Don’t let that happen with you and the Mexican Pizza.  You will never forgive yourself.

Me: Runs downstairs, jumps in the car, and goes to Taco Bell.  I deserve a reward for losing 5 pounds.  Add a Dorito taco for good measure. 

Me the next day: Back to the sacrifice to make progress. 

Me walking around my neighborhood: What is that smell? I can smell garlic.  Walks further: What is that smell? Hamburgers.  Not cool.  Clearly, I must stop walking around my neighborhood. 

Me: I have lost 7 pounds.  Success!  Only 48 or 58 more to go.

Body, more sabotage: Remember that time Dairy Queen launched those chocolate-dipped waffle bowl sundaes and you decided to just be fat – we should try that again.  That was great! 

Me, weighs myself in the morning: Wait, how did it go back up 2 pounds since yesterday? I did not eat a waffle bowl sundae – I only thought about them.  Wait.  It was a full moon yesterday, so the moon must have been right above me when I weighed myself, and the change in gravity must have made me lighter. (Me using sketchy science to make myself feel better). Damn. Must exercise more. Maybe lift some weights. Try the jump rope.

Me, weighs myself days later: OK, it really is 7 pounds.  Sheesh.  That was a roller coaster.  I need some dessert to get over that trauma. Those weights were heavy.

Me, after a brisk walk around the neighborhood, including 6 whole minutes of jogging: Time to watch some racing.

Body, feet up on the favorite chair: Wow, that McDonald’s car looks really good out there.  Great paint scheme Bubba Wallace.  Those French fries are so amazing.  I bet he gets a lot of free fries – that must be the best sponsor ever.  Hey, now there is a Wendy’s car too. Remember when there was a Jimmy John’s car?  They really are fast.  And they are so close to the house.  The sandwich will be here before the next race starts.  We don’t have to miss anything.  And you did walk before the race.

Me: Grabs phone and orders sandwich and chips for delivery.  Back on track tomorrow though.  Definitely.

Stay tuned to see if I win or lose the battle…

Photo is me before the start of the weight loss journey – taken by Ryan Humphrey November 2022